7 Stakeholder Management Mistakes (And How to Fix Them)

You know all your stakeholders, right? That's what most Product Managers tell me when I ask during coaching sessions. But then I follow up with a simple request: "Great! Can you list all of them now?"

The response is almost always the same: "Well, I have them in my mind…"

This is just one of the stakeholder management mistakes I see Product Managers make repeatedly. And it's costing them—in delayed projects, misaligned priorities, and burned relationships that take months to repair.

After years of coaching Product Managers and leading 4+ projects simultaneously myself, I've identified the patterns that separate effective stakeholder managers from those who constantly fight fires. Here are the 7 most common mistakes and exactly how to fix them.

Mistake #1: Not Knowing All Your Stakeholders

In day-to-day business, we believe we know everything and are in full control. Trust is good, but documentation is better.

When I ask Product Managers to actually write down their stakeholders, they usually discover one of two things:

• They underestimated the number of people who are stakeholders
• They forgot about key people in adjacent departments

The danger isn't just forgetting someone exists—it's the extra time you'll spend later clarifying and communicating when that forgotten stakeholder suddenly appears with urgent concerns about your project.

How to Fix It

Create a written stakeholder list. I know it sounds basic, but the act of documenting forces you to think systematically about everyone who has influence over or interest in your product.

Three years ago, I was leading 4 different projects as a Product Manager and started losing connection to my stakeholders. Creating a stakeholder list helped me understand who wants information from me and who can provide me with information.

Structure your list with these columns:

• Name
• Email address
• Department
• How to manage
• Key Interests
• Channel(s)
• Update frequency
• Information flow

Access and copy the free template here.

Important: This is a living document. Review it regularly, especially when you start new projects or your organization changes.

Mistake #2: Treating All Stakeholders the Same

Not all stakeholders are created equal. Some have the power to kill your project with a single email. Others are interested observers with no real influence. Treating them all the same wastes your time and leaves the wrong people feeling either overwhelmed or neglected.

How to Fix It

Use the stakeholder matrix created by Colin Eden, which categorizes stakeholders by their level of power versus interest.

Players (High Power, High Interest): These are your C-Level executives, owners, and managers. They need to be managed closely with high-quality data, regular status updates, and involvement in relevant discussions. They don't just want to be informed—they want to be involved. Align them around your product vision and get early buy-in before major decisions.

Context Setters (High Power, Low Interest): Shareholders, government bodies, and similar stakeholders have significant power but don't engage daily. Keep them satisfied with executive summaries and detailed email updates. Follow up on their feedback even when they seem disengaged.

Subjects (Low Power, High Interest): Employees and NGOs fall here—they care deeply but can't directly influence decisions. Feed them with regular updates, perhaps a bi-weekly or monthly newsletter.

Crowd (Low Power, Low Interest): Customers, society at large, and financial institutions. Monitor them, but don't bore them. Keep your efforts proportional to their actual influence.

Mistake #3: Only Communicating When You Need Something

If your stakeholders only hear from you when there's a problem or when you need approval, you're building transactional relationships instead of partnerships. When you eventually need their support for something difficult, you'll find the relationship lacks the trust needed for them to go to bat for you.

How to Fix It

Establish a regular communication cadence based on stakeholder type:

For Players (High Power, High Interest):

• Weekly 1:1 meetings (even just 30 minutes)
• Real-time dashboards they can check anytime
• Immediate updates on critical issues

For Context Setters (High Power, Low Interest):

• Monthly executive briefings
• Quarterly product strategy alignment sessions
• Exception-based alerts for major decisions

For Subjects (Low Power, High Interest):

• Bi-weekly team updates
• Dedicated feedback channels
• Inclusion in sprint reviews or demos

For Crowd (Low Power, Low Interest):

• Monthly newsletters
• All-hands meeting mentions
• Public roadmap updates

The goal is to build relationships before you need them. When stakeholders hear from you regularly with valuable updates, they're far more receptive when you eventually need their help.

Mistake #4: Not Documenting Stakeholder Information

You had a great conversation with your VP of Sales about their priorities. You understood their concerns perfectly. Three weeks later... what did they say again?

Relying on memory for stakeholder management is a recipe for missed expectations and repeated conversations. Your stakeholders will notice when you ask the same questions twice.

How to Fix It

Document everything in your stakeholder list:

• Key interests: What do they actually care about? Revenue? User satisfaction? Technical debt?
• Preferred channels: Email? Slack? Face-to-face? Some executives hate Slack; others live there.
• Update frequency: How often do they want to hear from you?
• Information flow: Are they a source of information, a consumer, or both?
• Past decisions: What have they approved or rejected before?

When you document this information, you create institutional knowledge that survives role changes—both yours and theirs. You also demonstrate professionalism that builds trust over time.

Mistake #5: Trying to Be the Smartest Person in the Room

Many Product Managers feel pressure to have all the answers. They walk into stakeholder meetings ready to demonstrate their expertise, defend their decisions, and prove their value. Good meeting facilitation isn't about having all the answers—it's about asking the right questions. This approach backfires spectacularly.

"Play dumb by playing dumb. Get into every meeting by being the dumbest person in the room." — Paul Ortchanian, Lixar

This counterintuitive advice gets to the heart of effective stakeholder management. When you try to be the expert, you close yourself off to valuable information. When you ask genuine questions, you learn what stakeholders really think—and they feel heard.

How to Fix It

Ask questions instead of making statements:

• "Help me understand why this is important to your team."
• "What would success look like from your perspective?"
• "What concerns do you have that I might be missing?"
• "If you were in my position, what would you prioritize?"

When you approach stakeholders with curiosity instead of defensiveness, you accomplish several things:

• You gather intelligence you wouldn't otherwise have
• You make stakeholders feel valued and heard
• You identify potential blockers before they become problems
• You build allies instead of adversaries

Not everyone has the same knowledge and insights about your project as you do. Sometimes it takes 15-30 minutes to bring a person fully up to speed. That investment is always worth it.

Mistake #6: No Boundaries or Expectations

Some Product Managers try to please everyone, saying yes to every request and never pushing back. Others go to the opposite extreme, treating stakeholders as obstacles to manage rather than partners to collaborate with.

Both approaches fail because they ignore a fundamental truth about professional relationships:

"Setting boundaries and expectations goes both ways." — Emilie Lindström, Outfittery

How to Fix It

Have explicit conversations about expectations early in your relationship:

What you need from them:

• Response time for urgent decisions
• Availability for regular check-ins
• Advance notice of changing priorities
• Clear escalation paths

What they can expect from you:

• Regular updates on progress and blockers
• Early warning on potential issues
• Transparent reasoning for prioritization decisions
• Defined turnaround time for requests

Setting boundaries isn't about being difficult—it's about creating clarity that empowers your team to work autonomously while keeping stakeholders informed.

When I ask stakeholders for decisions or actions, I've learned to be very precise. Compare these two approaches:

Vague request: "Hi [Name], We're ready to launch the project. Can you approve?"

Clear request: "Hi [Name], +[Name 1], +[Name 2] in cc. The App Team [team name] is ready to launch the new app version [number]. We are depending on one last backend pull request [#PR number] from your team [team name]. Could you help us move forward with the review? We plan to upload the app by [date], [time] to the App Store. If you have any questions don't hesitate."

The second version sets clear expectations about what you need, when you need it, and who else is involved. It respects your stakeholder's time while making it easy for them to help you.

Mistake #7: Avoiding Stakeholder Conflict

Conflict feels uncomfortable. When stakeholders disagree with each other—or with you—the instinct is to smooth things over, find a quick compromise, or simply avoid the difficult conversation.

But avoiding conflict doesn't make it go away. It just pushes it underground where it festers and eventually explodes at the worst possible moment.

How to Fix It

Reframe conflict as a feature, not a bug. Stakeholder disagreements often surface important tradeoffs you need to address anyway. They can also be a source of innovation—when two perspectives clash, the resolution sometimes produces something better than either original position.

When stakeholders disagree:

• Document both perspectives accurately
• Identify the underlying interests (not just the stated positions)
• Look for solutions that address core concerns from both sides
• Use data to move from opinion-based debates to evidence-based decisions
• Escalate appropriately when you can't resolve it at your level

When you disagree with a stakeholder:

• Present your reasoning clearly and respectfully
• Acknowledge their perspective before countering it
• Propose alternatives that address their concerns
• Know when to commit and execute even if you disagree

Healthy disagreement leads to better products. The goal isn't to avoid conflict—it's to handle it productively. When things don't go as planned, run a post-mortem to turn stakeholder conflict into organizational learning.

Bringing It All Together

Stakeholder management isn't about manipulation or politics. It's about building genuine relationships that enable you to do great product work. When you avoid these seven mistakes, you create an environment where:

• Stakeholders trust you with their concerns and constraints
• Information flows freely instead of getting stuck in silos
• Decisions happen faster because relationships are already in place
• Conflicts get resolved constructively instead of escalating
• You have advocates when you need support for difficult decisions

Start with the basics: create your stakeholder list, map them on the power/interest matrix, and establish regular communication. Then work on the harder skills—asking better questions, setting clear boundaries, and handling conflict with grace.

Your stakeholder relationships are as important as your product strategy. Invest in them consistently, and you'll find that everything else—from roadmap decisions to resource allocation—becomes easier.